Regret

“I see it all perfectly; there are two possible situations — one can either do this or that. My honest opinion and my friendly advice is this: do it or do not do it — you will regret both.”
― Søren KierkegaardEither/Or: A Fragment of Life

People always tell you to live your life without regrets or that the only regrets you will have are the things you didn’t do— or what have you.

There are few things I regret in my life. I regret quitting soccer, which I did because I felt like I didn’t have the time. I regret leaving theater, which I did because I felt too busy with everything else. And looking to where I am now, there are probably a lot of other things I’m going to regret.

Maybe I’ll regret not going out with my friends that one night because I just felt uncomfortable. Maybe I’ll regret not going to clubs because they always tend to have some interesting stories. Maybe I’ll regret not taking that class because I didn’t think I had time. Maybe I’ll regret never saying anything to beanie boy except “thanks” and “have a good day.” Maybe I will and maybe I won’t.

But even if I think I will regret it, I can’t just change my ways. My comfort level is something I can control, and just the thought of leaving my comfort zone just makes me…..well, uncomfortable.

“That’s the point,” people argue. “You don’t want to regret life,” they tell me. “It’s not that hard to just do things,” they say. Maybe not for you. Maybe I don’t care. Maybe I just don’t want to.

A few years from now I’ll probably look back and wish I did some things I could never do, but right now, I’m okay with where I am. I’m okay with staying comfortable. I’ve traveled parts of the world, I’ve met interesting people and I’m following my dreams. That’s got to count for something, right? It’ll be worth the later regrets, right?

Maybe. Maybe not.

“Maybe all one can do is hope to end up with the right regrets.”
― Arthur MillerThe Ride Down Mt. Morgan

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