Humanity upsets me

This week has been a struggle, in more ways than one. 

Sure, it was midterms week, and I probably shouldn’t have waited until the last minute to study. My fault. 
Sure, I had some stories to write and should have tried to finish sooner, but that’s hard when waiting for sources to get back to me. Both of our faults.
Sure, I got little sleep on nights when I could have slept because I was scrolling Tumblr. My fault.
But the biggest struggle I’ve had this week is letting myself trust society and believe in change. I have overheard disgusting conversations, I have read horrible comments, I have seen a blatant disregard for human decency, and I’m sick and tired of it all. 

Let me set the scene for you: Homecoming weekend, a time of making memories and reliving the past. I was annoyed walking home Saturday night because a guy called me a feisty, little girl when I wouldn’t respond to his catcalling. I was upset when a guy got up in my face and asked me where I was going and if he could come with. I wanted to slap a guy when he told me I’d be sexier if I wore a different shirt . It wasn’t a good weekend for me and the human population, but I was even more upset when I heard about what happened to a girl on Court Street. If you haven’t already heard the details, I’m a bit surprised because OU has made national and international news for the situation. It’s a disgusting topic to be in the news for, and it is in no way an accurate depiction for the university I love so much.

But what happened to this girl on that night is not the only part of the situation that is disgusting. The fact that people stood around, took pictures and recorded the events disgusts me. The fact that people are blaming the alcohol in her system for making her a whore is disgusting. The fact that people assume they know the whole story based on a blurry video and fuzzy pictures annoys me. News came out today that they went to an apartment together after the Court Street situation happened, but here’s the thing folks, we don’t know what happened in the apartment. We don’t know what they did in the apartment. We don’t know if she wanted to stay and do things in the apartment. The only assumptions being made are based on the little information police have and what people think happened.

New facts are coming to light, and we are learning more, but the rudeness coming over social media is hurting me. I can’t even imagine how it’s hurting her. When you attack victims, you make others scared to come forward. You make them feel like they are the problem. People need to stop assuming they know everything. People need to stop thinking rape culture doesn’t exist. 

I’m losing hope in humanity, and I fear for my little sister’s safety when she gets to college. I fear for my safety on a daily basis. I hate walking home alone, and I hate having to feel uncomfortable on weekends because I know people will yell at me from their houses. I hate that I have to worry about these things when I’m just trying to live my life. I hate that we have to have this conversation. I hate everything that is happening in the world. I just want to curl up in my bed with Netflix and never have to deal with ignorant and disgusting things ever again. But that’s not how life works, and that stinks. 

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